dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
