thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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