What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
