I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
