he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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