I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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