I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he wants to bone in the snuggie
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
