last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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