My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
time to smoke my breakfast
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
