p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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