I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
