Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize