DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
