Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
