man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize