My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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