Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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