The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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