Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
