We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
