I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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