I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
