Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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