Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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