You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
