just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
