I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
