go do what you do best...puke behind churches
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
