Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
