She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
