I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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