My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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