Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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