drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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