I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize