I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Let's get the cat blown out
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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