Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
