So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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