walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
