Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
