I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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