yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
