New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
