Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
