We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
