He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
