I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
