I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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