CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
