So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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