also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
