I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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