Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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