Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
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Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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