So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
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surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i've created a new STD.
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We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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