I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
