their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
