Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
