It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
