was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
