when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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