My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
