you turned your livingroom into a bong?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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