it hurts more in the daytime
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
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I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
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When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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