I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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