guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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